


an upside-down heart is a butt

by thunderylee



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, friends with benefits sorta, koyama's emotions, sex with feelings, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 21:40:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13796904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Shige can get it.





	an upside-down heart is a butt

**Author's Note:**

> i miss koyashige, and they miss each other. title is something i saw on twitter in passing this morning.

Koyama's packing up after a long day of meetings when he notices a shadow looming over him, an impatient one with a familiar scent. 

He's already smiling before he looks up, because it's Shige. "Yes?" 

"What are you doing tonight?" Shige asks. 

"Cuddling with my kitty," Koyama answers easily, smiling even brighter at the thought of his new pet. 

Shige nods. "Okay." 

He turns to leave, and Koyama makes it a few seconds before it occurs to him that Shige probably had a reason for asking him that. He trips over his bag as he gets to his feet, catching up with Shige at the door. 

"Did Shige need me for something?" he asks brightly, happy to be needed for anything anymore, particularly from this one. "I just have to go home and feed her, but I can come by afterward, if you want. We have a late morning tomorrow." 

"I haven't seen you in months," Shige says exasperatedly, and Koyama's heart breaks a little. "We've been out to eat and done things with the members, but it hasn't been just you and me since before you got Milk." 

Koyama's frown hurts his face. "I'm sorry, Shige! I've been busy—" 

"I know," Shige cuts him off, shaking his head as he takes a deep breath. "I know. I just...wannabealonewithyou." 

"Oh," Koyama says, realization dawning as his blood pressure rises. "Yeah, okay. Let me stop home real quick, and then I'll be over." 

"Okay," Shige agrees, offering a small smile as he meets Koyama's eyes. They're dark and intense and Koyama's nearly knocked off balance by them, his body belatedly getting the memo that Shige wants him.  

"Can you two eye-fuck each other somewhere else?" Tegoshi barks. "You're blocking the doorway!" 

"Shut up!" Shige yells back, his face turning red while Koyama lets out an embarrassed laugh.  

* 

Koyama's actually nervous. He feels like it's their first time all over again, though it may as well be with how long it's been. They're not official, at least not in any kind of conventional way—they've been together since they were teenagers, and the concept of being "together" is far more complex than either one of them wants to try and understand.  

All Koyama knows is that while he's no stranger to messing around with friends, it's different with Shige. It has been since from the first time their lips touched twelve years ago, when Ryo had teased Shige about being a mouth virgin and Koyama offered to help him out later. Koyama still remembers how shy Shige had been about it, how bold he's gotten over the years, to the point where he confidently takes what Koyama gives him every time the mood strikes. 

It's been almost a year since they've even kissed. Shige's become less interested as he's gotten older, more focused on writing and his million hobbies than making out with his best friend. Koyama would be a liar if he said he didn't miss it, but he sees Shige so much that it doesn't make much of a difference. He's happy to spend time with Shige however it happens. 

Milk gives Koyama an unimpressed look when he rushes to feed her, like she knows that he's going to leave again and doesn't approve one bit, and he gives her a lot of extra attention before jumping in the shower to wash the day off of him. He curses the cold weather making him take the time to blow-dry his hair, quickly spouting off apologetic goodbyes to Milk and returning to his car.  

His heart's beating wildly as he approaches Shige's door, not sure what to expect. Whatever Shige's got in store for him, he's more than ready, a shudder coursing through his body after he knocks. It takes Shige a few seconds to answer, his eyes locking with Koyama's the instant he does. 

Shige had taken a shower too, but his hair is still wet and Koyama rushes to slip inside before the cold air does. Shige doesn't move, just reaches around Koyama to push the door closed, and Koyama gets in another breath before Shige grabs him by the face and presses their mouths together. 

Koyama's back hits the door, his hands briefly resting on Shige's waist for balance before sliding around and up, pulling him close as their kiss quickly deepens. It all happens so fast that Koyama's mind can't keep up, relying on his natural instincts to feel as much as he can. 

He's starting to think they're seriously about to do this up against the front door when Shige abruptly pulls away, just enough to press his forehead to Koyama's shoulder and catch his breath.  

"I'm sorry," he gasps. "I just..." 

"It's okay," Koyama tells him, easily downshifting from desperate grinding to a comforting hug. "Me too." 

Shige laughs, leaning back to look up at Koyama, his eyes just as intense as earlier. "I've spent three weeks working up the courage to say something to you." 

"Three weeks?!" Koyama exclaims, his heart aching at Shige torturing himself for that long. "Shige, you can get it whenever you want it." 

"I want it now," Shige says firmly, and Koyama's the one to crush their mouths together, his touch becoming rougher as Shige rocks against him pointedly, showing Koyama exactly how much he wants it. 

The path to Shige's bed is far but they make the effort, bumping into the back of the couch and ricocheting down the hallway. Shige lies down on the bed and pulls Koyama down on top of him, their bodies aligning together easily as Koyama becomes very aware of all of the clothes in their way.  

Shige gets there first, breaking their kiss long enough to yank his shirt over his head and then Koyama's, the pair of them disrobing faster than a costume change. Koyama lets out a sigh of contentment when they're finally skin to skin, feeling Shige tremble beneath him as Koyama reacquaints himself with Shige's body. 

His fingers brush Shige's abs and Shige arches right out of their kiss, leaving Koyama's mouth free to travel down his neck and shoulder. It's been a long time, but Koyama still remembers all the good spots, licking and sucking until Shige's writhing beneath him, his own hands clinging to Koyama's arms.  

"What do you want from me?" Koyama asks, his voice laced with his own desperate breaths. "Whatever you want, I'll do." 

"I just want you," Shige answers, almost a whine, and Koyama makes his way down Shige's chest, tasting the sweat as his hands drop to Shige's thighs. "Oh. Oh, Kei-chan." 

Koyama preens at the affectionate nickname Shige only uses like this. He wants to take his time and draw this out, but Shige's too enticing to hold back. His noises are nice too, the deep groan that sounds like it's forcefully pulled from his throat when Koyama slides his fingers through the faint hair on Shige's thighs to where his cock is hard and leaking.  

Two seconds after Koyama acknowledges the desire to put it in his mouth, it's there. Shige says his name again and threads Koyama's hair loosely in one hand, the other cupping Koyama's face to gently rub his jaw. It's so intimate that Koyama feels how much Shige cares about him even like this, and it makes him suck harder and faster, taking him all the way in and swallowing around the head. 

"Stop," Shige says suddenly, and Koyama pulls off in concern. "Your mouth is amazing, but I don't want to finish like this." 

A chill courses up Koyama's spine at the words. "How do you want to finish?" 

"Inside you," Shige answers directly. "If you'll let me." 

Something throbs deep inside Koyama, and he's already nodding before his brain processes the statement. "I will definitely let you." 

Shige makes a low noise of approval that Koyama feels all over his skin, and the next second has Koyama back in his mouth. Koyama's small whimpers die on Shige's tongue as Shige's hands slide down Koyama's torso and over his hips, kneading the flesh of his ass with just enough pressure to spread him open. The cool air hits his rim and he gasps, his hips snapping involuntarily to grind down against Shige, pulling a surprised noise from the man beneath him. 

"Have you had anyone since me?" Shige asks between kisses, and Koyama shakes his head. "Really? Not even Tegoshi?" 

"Tegoshi likes to bottom," Koyama says, and Shige nods in understanding. "He doesn't come around that often anymore either. I don't think I've been with him since he's had Emma." 

"Makes sense." Shige smiles in a way that has Koyama smiling amidst his arousal. "I like having you all to myself." 

Koyama raises his eyebrows. "Are we finally going to settle down in our old age?" 

Shige pinches him right on the ass and Koyama yelps. "You know I love you." 

"I love you too," Koyama says easily. 

"And I want you," Shige goes on. "Obviously." 

"But you can't be with me," Koyama fills in the rest, pouting for effect.  

"I can be with you right  _now_ ," Shige says pointedly, and Koyama kisses him.  

Koyama squeals as Shige rolls them over, kneeling between Koyama's thighs that part for him. The weight of Shige's body on top of his feels good, both arms looping around Shige's back to pull him closer. His fingers dig into Shige's shoulder blades and Shige groans into his mouth, one arm reaching out to the side and banging around the nightstand until he finds what he needs. 

"Maybe..." Koyama says slowly, feeling sheepish for the first time in a long while with this one. "Don't wear a condom?" 

"Okay," Shige agrees, quicker than Koyama expects, but he doesn't have much time to dwell on it before Shige's lubing up his fingers and lowering them between Koyama's legs. "Do you want me to pull out?" 

"No," Koyama answers firmly, and Shige's next noise is obscene.  

Koyama jumps at the first touch to his rim, but Shige kisses his jaw while gently circling the muscle and he relaxes considerably. Shige has a slow but steady touch that Koyama craves, going from zero to  _fire_  so fast that he skips a breath. His body trembles for more, his hips moving on their own to push back against the promising touch while his back arches beneath Shige's oral assault on his neck.  

"Shige," Koyama whines, shameless in his begging around this one. "Inside, please." 

He expects a comeback, maybe a quip about going too fast, but Shige simply follows orders and Koyama knows then how much Shige wants this, wants him. His knees lift on their own as Shige pushes one finger in, moving it back and forth inside him before easing it in and out. He could probably fit in another with how pliant Koyama is, but this is where he takes his time, slowly stretching Koyama open for him and driving the older man crazy in the process. 

"I love how much you love this," Shige hisses into his skin, his lips attached to a sensitive spot behind Koyama's ear. "I could do this all night, just to hear that filthy song you're singing for me." 

"Please don't," Koyama croaks out, and Shige's laugh vibrates his skull. "Why don't you fuck me all night instead?" 

"You and I both know that's not going to happen," Shige says, punctuating his words with a hard grind against Koyama's inner thigh. "I'll be lucky to last five minutes with how badly I want you." 

"Then, we take a break and do it again," Koyama tells him, and Shige responds with a second finger. "Oh, Shige. Yeah, right there." 

"Right here?" Shige asks, facetiously because he's clearly touching the right spot with the way Koyama writhes beneath him. He bends his knuckles and moves a little faster, sending Koyama into a new realm of arousal while his skin tingles from a fresh layer of sweat. "You look so good like this." 

Koyama likes hearing that a lot, but he can't make words with Shige massaging his prostate like that. Instead, he drops a hand to where Shige's erection is rubbing against his leg, taking the hard flesh in his hand and pulling a beautiful noise from Shige's deep, gravelly voice.  

"Your five minutes gets lower each time you do that," Shige warns him, and Koyama rolls his eyes the best he can in this state.  

It's enough to make Shige get a move on, sliding in a third finger and stretching him with purpose. Koyama feels like he's already fucking Shige with as active as he is, hips bucking up to take Shige in deeper while he chokes out a moan with each breath.  

A flash of clarity has him reaching for the discarded lube, literally taking matters into his own hands as he slicks up Shige's cock and earns another one of those obscene groans. It won't be long now, Koyama taking pride in how rough Shige gets, abandoning his rhythm to prod Koyama as deep and fast as he can with just his fingers.  

Shige drags his lips back up Koyama's jaw to his mouth, where their next kiss is all tongues. This is the cue that Shige's going to enter him soon, because he's not tall enough to keep kissing Koyama in this position and he likes to do it before they have to go a while without. It's sweet in the way that tugs at Koyama's heart, because Shige wants to be closer to him even when they're already having sex.  

Sure enough, Shige pulls out his fingers and kneels between Koyama's thighs, giving Koyama a half a second of reprieve before replacing them with something much bigger. Koyama had forgot how much pressure this is, how full he feels both physically and emotionally with Shige hard and thick inside him.  

This time, his heart adjusts before his body does, his hands running all over Shige's arms and upper back as they wait for his muscles to relax. His knees are up by his head and Shige leans up to press a kiss to his inner thigh, sending a new wave of fluttering pleasure down to where they're connected. He doesn't seem in a hurry to move, enjoying the stimulation he's getting from Koyama's body that tightens around him as it adjusts and pulls breathy grunts from his throat. 

Shige bides his time by touching Koyama everywhere he can reach, smoothing out the tense spots with those soft, firm hands. Koyama preens under such an intimate touch, his heart flopping in his chest because this is how it's different with Shige, their emotional connection overriding any raw carnal desire and bonding them deeper than Shige can physically get inside him.  

"You make me feel like the best lover in the world," Shige rasps against his sweaty skin, face pressed to Koyama's sternum like he's straining to feel Koyama's heartbeat. He probably doesn't need to try very hard. 

"I love you so much," Koyama replies, because that's all he wants to say, and he swallows to keep from being that guy who cries during sex. He hasn't done that in years. "Shige, move." 

Shige does. He pulls back slowly, only enough to get some friction, but they both moan as everything gets so much more intense. Shige makes a valiant effort at holding back, but only makes it a few thrusts before he's going full strength, leaning up on his knees and grabbing Koyama by both hips to get more depth. Koyama would feel cold from the lack of contact if he wasn't already so hot, reaching out for whatever he can touch and settling for holding onto Shige's forearms.  

Koyama loses himself in the sensations, the overwhelming intensity building between them along with Shige's noises that Koyama has to strain to hear above his own. His body rocks back against Shige's and they find a rhythm together, more in sync than they've ever been on stage as Koyama accepts Shige inside him over and over again. It's not too fast, but it's not too slow either, enough to satisfy his need and make it last at the same time.  

Shige had been full of shit about five minutes; Koyama hasn't known him to go any less than a half hour. Now that they're older, Shige has to actually _try_ to come instead of trying _not_ to. It works out for Koyama, who was probably also full of shit about wanting to go all night, but an hour or two is fine. He doesn't have to dance tomorrow. 

Inevitably, it gets too lonely with Shige so far away, and Koyama resigns himself to feeling like a pretzel as he pulls Shige back down. His ass is pulled up at a weird angle, but more of Shige's skin is sliding along his and it takes Koyama higher, leaving him squirming and moaning before he even touches himself. 

"Kei-chan," Shige breathes, and Koyama preens at hearing his name that way again. "Lie on your side." 

Koyama makes a quizzical noise, struggling to comprehend actual words in the midst of their passion, but then Shige's urging him to turn and somehow sidles up behind him without pulling out. He's got Koyama's leg in the air, his elbow hooked around the knee, but Koyama's back is straight with Shige's chest pressed against it. Now those noises are directed right into his ear and everything gets so much hotter, Koyama reaching back to feel more of Shige's skin as he takes Shige in deeper this way. 

He tries to wait as long as he can before reaching down to wrap a hand around his own length, but his need to come wins out over his desire to stay like this as long as he feasibly can. Shige's the one who groans when Koyama finally gives in, his hips snapping harder as Koyama arches back against him. His head touches Shige's shoulder and Shige's mouth latches onto his neck, sucking a little too hard for spring photoshoot season as the heat between them increases exponentially. 

"Shige, you're gonna get me in trouble," Koyama hisses, not that he stops exposing his neck for Shige's taking or makes the effort to hold back his moans of approval each time Shige nips at his skin.  

"You..." Shige starts, sounding almost angry as he struggles to speak. "I'm always in trouble with you." 

That's too much for Koyama to unpack right now, especially since his hand seems to have a mind of its own and strokes himself pointedly, like he's alone in the shower after a particularly stimulating event and trying to get off as soon as possible. He manages to regain control and slow down, but he's already gotten so close that his nerves tremble from the sudden denial and even a slow, light pace has him right back to the edge. 

"I'm ready when you are," Shige whispers, his words laced with heavy breaths. "Wanna feel you come."  

"Almost," Koyama gets out, and Shige doubles his efforts, thrusting hard and fast while his lips relocate down to Koyama's shoulder where it's okay for him to leave a mark. " _Shige_." 

Orgasm takes over Koyama's body then, but he still feels Shige's cock pulse inside him, much more noticeable without a condom. He knew what that meant, of course, but he wasn't prepared for how it would _feel_ , especially when Shige goes to pull out and leaves his release behind. It's equally erotic and romantic, and Koyama's still shivering through the aftershocks as Shige cleans them up and settles in to snuggle Koyama from behind. 

Koyama flips around in one swift motion, full of energy after such a good lay. Shige doesn't seem to mind at all, happily accepting Koyama back into his mouth for a kiss that has Koyama's skin tingling all over again.  

"I think," Shige says, interrupting himself to breathe, and Koyama feels even more amazing at leaving Shige so breathless. "We should do this more often." 

"I'm not stopping you," Koyama replies, hands sliding into Shige's wild sex hair that had dried that way. "I told you, didn't I? Whenever you want it, come and get it." 

"You can get it too, you know," Shige counters, like they're arguing over who's going to do the dishes after cooking dinner together. "Don't make me always be the one to ask for it." 

"Shige, if you left it up to me, I'd be over here every night," Koyama says seriously. "My kitty would miss me, and you'd get sick of me and kick me out. I only operate at all or nothing, so I leave you alone until you come to me." 

Shige sighs, like having to periodically approach Koyama for sex makes his life so difficult. "Isn't it like we're already in a relationship?" 

Koyama laughs. "I definitely wouldn't leave you alone if you were my man." 

"That doesn't scare me as much as it used to," Shige admits, and Koyama's heart skips a beat. "I kind of like hearing you call me that, actually." 

"My man?" Koyama asks, and Shige makes a low noise of contentment. "You couldn't handle me." 

"You can't possibly be any worse than you already are," Shige teases, and Koyama sticks out his tongue like the adult he is.  

Naturally, Shige sucks it right into his mouth, and all Koyama knows for the next few minutes is Shige's mouth and how it feels to kiss someone he loves so much. 

"I want to talk about it," Shige says a while later, when Koyama's decided that stopping home on his way to work to change clothes and feed his cat is worth spending the rest of the night in Shige's arms. "Not right now, and maybe not until after the tour, but sometime in the near future." 

"Talk about what?" Koyama asks, sleepy and sated.  

"Being together." 

 _Now_  Koyama is awake, his heart beating in his ears as he stares unseeingly in the dark. "Really?" 

"Yeah." Shige pulls Koyama closer, like he needs the support of a hug to speak the words weighing on his mind. "I mean, we're already forever, aren't we?" 

Koyama sniffles as his emotions get the best of him. "Yes, we are." 

"So, let's talk about it," Shige goes on. " _Later_." 

Koyama kisses him in agreement, and when they finally succumb to slumber after a lot more kissing and snuggling, Koyama's face hurts from smiling. 


End file.
